Ex's Nexts

As a public service to those that attempt to be my ex's next, read this:

1. He will appear to care about you and what you care about.  It's a great act.   His main concern will be how what you're doing affects him and/or his mood. Wait for it.. but don't hold your breath. 

2.  There will be only room for one of you in the relationship to have feelings.  Be sure that yours mirror his. Your main purpose is to make him feel good about himself. /end story

3.  If you do happen to have your own feelings,  be prepared.  He will dismiss them. Pat you on the head with trite sayings he's gathered from others. None of them will be helpful, meaningful or sincere. It's best to find another outlet for them. You'll find no solace with him. 

4.  He does not enjoy the small back and forth flirting games couples play. He has no patience.  No "I love you more"or "Remember that time..".  

5.  Whatever talent,  interests,  hobbies you have,  be very careful about what you share with him. He'll find fault with everything. If you have self esteem issues,  he won't help. He'll grind you down.

6.  He will change his interests.  If he's always loved dogs,  but you have cats,  he'll be a cat person. If he's always loved long haired blondes but you're a brunette,  he's there. He will do what it takes to pretend you're everything he's been looking for.  Don't be fooled  he'll still go after those long haired blondes.

 7. He'll say that he loves you without ever really knowing who you are.  If glimpses of who you are start to show,  beware as he'll have no patience for it  

Primarily remember that his needs must be met.  When they are not.. he'll get them met elsewhere.  Yes.  He cheats.  Worse.. he lies. Then he lies about cheating and lying.

If you follow these rules,  you may be successful in your relationship with him. But probably not.   Ask his other ex's. 

I wish you the best of luck.