You're a Used Car Salesman.

Never once. Not once in all the time I have known you,  have you ever accepted responsibility for something you did.  You exchanged naked pictures of yourself and your dick with both of my best friends.  No apologies no fucking nothing. You fucking thought it was cute to treat me that way. You jacked off to their photos, exchanged sexts and generally played around without ever thinking how it made me feel.

Now they have your fucking pictures and you're mad?   Grow a pair of balls as big as your dick,  tell the chicks about your dumb youthful indiscretions and move on.  Or lie about it, like you do everything else.  If they can't accept it, maybe they aren't the person for you.  But get over playing the victim. You aren't innocent in this.

This shit with the new chick? You can blame me if you want. But I was just the messenger. If she's lying or playing you,  that's her problem.  But you fucking lied to me about how you feel about her.  My guess is that you thought you were keeping some kind of options open or something.  The thing is.. I didn't ask. Because I don't fucking care.  I stopped believing you or caring about what you did or said when you fucked Samantha.

And finally.. for fuck sake,  fucking take responsibility for the things you do and say.